There are quite a few drinking fountains located on campus at Bishop Union High School, and while most of us are content with using the closest fountain when we get thirsty, that method can result in a mediocre drinking experience. So, to truly tap the best water, I went undercover to find the best drinking fountains on campus.

I know that the drinking experience is often subjective, as we all have different opinions on what makes a phenomenal fountain truly phenomenal. Some of us prefer a high arc with high water pressure, and for some of us, the factor that makes the drinking experience exceptionally pleasant is simply the cleanliness of the faucet. I kept this in mind as I surveyed the various fountains around school, and that is why the list I have compiled is in no specific order. My list is merely a bouquet of unique drinking fountains that provide genuinely intimate and pleasurable connections with the drinker. Enjoy!

The first drinking fountain highlighted in this list is actually a pair, located on the southern end of the Math Building. Now, I have heard many complaints about the location of these water fountains, simply because they are too close to the bathrooms. But take a closer look – and then a tentative sip – and you will realize just why I decided to include these two wonderful fountains in my list.

These fountains are actually sparkling clean – just look at how they shine in the sunlight! And although no fecal coliform tests have been done on these drinking fountains to test for traces of poop, I can assure you, as a seasoned water drinker, that these two glimmering faucets deliver some of the most refreshing water on campus.

So the next time you’re in the Math Building, do not hesitate to stop by and quench your thirst. Don’t let the “unsanitary” placement (as critics might call it) stop you. This water is truly divine.

Now, for some reason, whomever designed the school loved to put drinking fountains near bathrooms, as you will see with my second choice on this list.

This drinking fountain is located roughly eight feet to the right of the girl’s bathroom outside of the English Building. But once more – do not let the “gross” placement deter you! Although this water fountain is capable of providing some of the cleanest, most pristine water, there is a more…unique quality that oftentimes attracts water drinkers who are looking for a thrill.

Capable of spraying water up to eighteen feet at enormous pressure, this fountain was just made for adrenaline junkies. Often studied by NASA aerospace engineers to find out just how this tiny fountain packs such a powerful punch, this is one drinking fountain you do not want to miss.

Next up on the list is the most aesthetically pleasing water fountain on campus. Elegantly posed (get this) between two bathrooms on the John Schwab field, this drinking fountain is renowned for its looks. While the water it dispenses may not be the best, this fountain is certainly beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, I decided to take my first selfie while drinking from it.

The three drinking fountains above are, by far, the best located on campus at BUHS. However, there were two honorable mentions.

This drinking fountain can be found in the main building, outside of the front offices, near the southern ramp. Here, pictured below, is a student taking a drink from this incredible fountain. The only thing that kept this fountain from making the top three is its close proximity to a lidless garbage can. All I can say it, at least the bathrooms have doors.

And the final honorable mention is a bit of an enigma. No one is really certain where this drinking fountain came from, or if it is even real, or if it is even a drinking fountain at all. This fountain only received an honorable mention simply because no one has ever tasted its water before, but the mystery surrounding this fountain (or as the students call it the “Dark Horse”) keeps us intrigued.